I do wish that I could walk around one day and have a little baby shiba follow me home. It’s not that I don’t love Sam anymore; I LOVE him to death. I just want another baby to keep me company. They are just so delicously cute! haha :) <3

Anyway, onto regarding my post title, lately I have been having some issues with him lately. In the previous past I have been very secretive and discreet about my personal life because I don’t want anyone to know and it’s NOT THEIR BUSINESS but as of right now I could care less because I am once again Frustrated with him.

As of late I feel that there are many things in my life choosing to pile up on me and I cannot allow myself a moment to breathe (until now). I feel like I’m drowning again like I did when I went to Hurricane Harbor in 6th grade. So much water filled my mouth and I could not get the words out to have someone save me is the same reciprocated feeling I have.

But I have had occurences and times with certain family and friends who have reminded me that I am loved and that they are here for me.

I had some dinner with my parents last night whom I miss terribly. I am not a good daughter and I need to change that.

I had a girls night out with Liz and I stayed over at her house until 5 am. I know it was a wonderful and good time spent. She fills me with love and hope. :)

He on the other hand, still can’t talk to or comfort me when I need him to. We have now been together for 20 months and we have known each other for at least 8 years. He is as silent as a threatened bird when I need him to speak. Everyone is comforting me but him…and its like he has stopped trying to win my heart. No longer am I pampered, (although its not a requirement but people do want to be pampered once in a while) or whooed or asked to do what I want to do. Most of the things we do and places we go to are where he desires. I feel that it is an unbalanced and an unfair relationship. But is it just me, allowing myself to think this way or I am merely complicating this issue or trying to get out of this relationship or make it harder on myself?

It feels like there is a lack of love in our relationship now.

This feeling shouldn’t be present.

I am the type of person who needs someone in proximity. I need someone who can be there for me mentally and emotionally whenever I need that comfort or safety net and I fear that he is NOT that person.

I’ve just been sad with my issues of school, sorority, ASA, etc.

I think I’m just going to let things go as they need to now.

There’s not much that I can do anymore…